What do you think about this idea?
What should be added or removed?
child slavery,
debt bondage,
or human trafficking in the sex trade?
Want to do something about it?
There are 27 million slaves worldwide.
Come find out what you can do
to help free a few.
Wednesday, February ___, 2008
Room: _____
Times: ______
(website and blog)
2 comments:
Looking at it now, I think one improvement could be to change the line that says, "come find out what you can do to help free a few." I think it should be more inclusive and collaborative. It should invite people to come and actively help create the approach we're going to take.
I agree, also the word few seems almost negative, or at least sad, as if there is little hope of doing much help. A more general word, that could sound more inclusive, might be better. Also, I think you should play with the size and appearance of fonts. I think "Want to do something about it?" should be italicized, so it stands out. Also, maybe having "child slavery, debt bondage, or human trafficking" stand out more than "ever heard or read about" would also be good. I think of those as being larger, and maybe bold. Overall, you want to reader to be caught by those word, then see the "want to..." so that they are interested to look at the times. Another idea would be to start out with "There are 27 million slaves worldwide" and having that be the large print catcher. Either way, I think it's on the right track, you just need to make some words stand out more than others. In fact, having the word sex is good because more people are likely to read it. (Not trying to be weird, but it is a word that forces attention.) Okay, let me know if you want any more feedback on it. Sorry it took me so long to respond!
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